“You have breast cancer” were not words Daria Ross ever expected to hear. She was living her dream in New York City when, in 2018, she was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. What followed changed her life forever. This is her story in her own words.
I found my lump in October 2018. The doctors confirmed my diagnosis one week after Thanksgiving: triple negative breast cancer, stage 2, grade 3 poorly differentiated, invasive ductal carcinoma. I was 47 years old and busy living in New York City. I did not have time for cancer and knew nothing about breast cancer. I was not familiar with the subtypes. I thought maybe it would be a speedy process. Perhaps I could do some hormone therapy and be done in like six or eight months.
However, I was triple negative and the doctor told me to plan for about two years of treatment. My doctors wanted to move quickly and recommended an aggressive treatment regimen. I moved back home to Michigan to be with more family.
Because my breast cancer was triple negative breast cancer (TNBC), hormone therapy and targeted therapies were not options. My only options were chemotherapy and radiation. I told myself those were still effective options. I chose to focus on the positive and not the triple negative.
My treatment plan included a double mastectomy, 15 rounds of chemotherapy and 30 rounds of radiation. My parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins were my full-time support system. My parents went to every single doctor’s appointment with me.
I spent nearly all of 2019 in treatment. Five surgeries, one infection, 15 rounds of chemo, 30 rounds of radiation, unbelievable exhaustion, torn flesh, burnt skin, hair loss, nail loss, weight gain, countless doctor appointments, numerous medications, relinquishing what I considered beautiful, letting go of my independence, my agency and control. I am now on the other side, with no signs of breast cancer. Throughout it all, repeating “faith over fear” has been my daily affirmation. Nothing has been easy. My cancer experience was the most difficult challenge I have ever faced.
After my diagnosis, I did a deep dive on TNBC. I wanted to know why TNBC is more common among women of color and younger women. I started to grasp the significance of my community’s inequities and disparities. I discovered that not only were Black women disproportionately affected by more aggressive breast cancers, such as TNBC and inflammatory breast cancer, but we are also more likely to be diagnosed at younger ages and more advanced stages of the disease.
What really shocked me was that although breast cancer deaths declined drastically over the past several decades due to medical advances, effective treatments, awareness and earlier diagnoses, there was still a monumental gap in those statistics between Black women and white women in the U.S. This observation was puzzling because I had this subtype and was always proactive and intentional about my health. I also discovered that Black women’s participation in research and clinical trials was minimal and critical to changing this reality.
This information lit a fire under me. I was already sharing my story to heal and help others, but I needed to do more. I started volunteering with a few cancer advocacy organizations and discovered a community of like-minded women with a sacred shared experience. Volunteering with cancer advocacy organizations has given me a real sense of community and connectedness because I was able to get to know my community intimately.
When I moved back home for treatment, I found the region had drastically changed and I needed to understand the community’s needs. By getting familiar with people and genuinely engaging, often one-on-one, I have connected and built trust in the community. This approach is fundamental in the Black community, where we have inherent mistrust due to our history and culture – many people do not like to talk about their health and be transparent.
I understand this perspective, but I want to help people reimagine their relationship with their doctors and take agency of their health. This sense of community continues to inspire me and helps me navigate my survivorship. Survivorship can be challenging at times. However, by remembering that the goal is equity and better outcomes, and by having meaningful connections with others, I stay focused on the intention and the importance of practical, educational resources that can help the community heal and thrive.
While in treatment, I started thinking about my life on the other side of cancer. What did I want to do with my life? Finishing my advanced degree was always a deep, personal desire. I decided it was now or never, and in 2020 I returned to college. This experience was no easy feat as a non-traditional student during the pandemic. I graduated from Central Michigan University with a Bachelor of Science in International Relations this past May. Magna cum laude.
This accomplishment was a significant milestone for many reasons. From overcoming breast cancer to having countless episodes of self-discovery before, during and after, college graduation was a culmination of many “finally” and “first” moments.
“Faith over fear” remained my daily affirmation and personal soundtrack. Now I want women to know that fighting through our fears – fear of failure, fear of recurrence, grieving the friends that have passed away, fighting survivor’s remorse and not shying away from all the nuanced challenges that come with this disease and survivorship – can only strengthen us as we encounter more challenges.
Now my focus is prioritizing my health and living life fully no matter what obstacles come my way because the obstacles will come. Advocating for women and supporting them through their breast cancer experience is a blessing and I will never stop.
For more information about Susan G. Komen’s program Stand for H.E.R. – a Health Equity Revolution, developed to remove barriers that prevent Black communities from accessing high-quality breast care and services, visit https://komen.org/standforher.
Statements and opinions expressed are that of the individual and do not express the views or opinions of Susan G. Komen. This information is being provided for educational purposes only and is not to be construed as medical advice. Persons with breast cancer should consult their healthcare provider with specific questions or concerns about their treatment.
